The sun is setting as I begin this love letter, which means that it's far later than usual for me to be writing to you. And though there's always so much on my mind and in my heart to share with you, it's through the writing that I discover what is really there. My friend Sandra calls it "think-talking" and each week, I dedicate several hours to "think-writing." Each piece is more of a entry point into a larger topic; the beginning of a conversation that I'll continue in my own head and journals, through my practice on the mat and in life, and in spiraling, ongoing conversations with some of you.
And it's these conversations, with myself and with others, that nourish, sustain, challenge, and shape me. In fact, even even more significant than the ideas themselves is the feeling that arises between us when we communicate sincerely and openly. The experience of this shared feeling, of resonance, transcends the limitations of language which can only ever point to an experience much like a photograph or a video capture a moment in time, but cannot replace the experience of being present in the moment. And still, we take photos and we "think-talk" as a way to open the space for the feeling, the connection within and beyond, to arise.
This is a photo of the sunset I was watching last Tuesday evening as I had the last phone conversation I will ever have with my grandmother. It was difficult to understand her words through her slurred, stroke-impaired speech, but nonetheless, her deep and truly unconditional love shone through like the golden sun beaming past the clouds in the pale blue sky. Though I will never again hear her tell me the stories of her childhood growing up amongst the endless orange groves in southern California, I will always be listening for the love she communicated.
Someday, I will write more about my grandma and how her legacy of love lives through me and the many lives she impacted as a daughter, sister, teacher, wife, mother, aunt, grandmother, volunteer and friend. But for tonight, as the sliver of a crescent moon shines in the darkening sky, I'll end at this beginning and trust that, these simple words will point us towards reverence and remembrance, where we meet with gratitude and with grace.